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| Damkki the Sloth http://sonic.spindash.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=383 |
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| Author: | Maleel [ Sun Apr 15, 2012 11:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Damkki the Sloth |
What is your character's name? >Damkki Species? >Sloth Age>46 Give us a couple paragraphs of general info about your character. For example, what's the character's personality like? What kind of things does he or she do? Why does he or she do it? (Please don't give us your character's point-by-point life history, though.) >Damkki is lazy (As a sloth is thought to be) and never up to do anything that is remotely physically demanding, though when his people are threatened in some way he will spring into action. He protects the jungle of Adabat from any type of threat, he does this because its one of the very few places on earth that has a tropical climate and is also his birthplace which Damkki feels the need to protect from evil. Damkki believes he has to lead his people (The inhabitants of Adabats jungles and ruins) and protect them from the outside world or they may turn evil so he keeps the rest from knowing too much about it. Hes afraid they might be hurt, "tainted" by the evils, or worse killed by many of the creatures outside of the island. Though he knows that he cant keep his people away from the outside forever and fears of the day that they may have to leave the island in search for other sources of food,water, and shelter. Though this may be the fire in his heart its also one of his flaws. Hes too overprotective and because of that the people of Adabat will not fully grow being hidden from the rest of the world. An example of such is when Eggmans forces (and Dark Gaia) were in Adabat the people of it were unable to put up a decent fight and were pushed down underground as their "Paradise" was invaded and ravaged all the buildings (Huts treehouses etc) torn down into what Sonic saw once arriving into the jungles. Does your character have any skills or special abilities, a gimmick, or anything that makes it stand out as an athlete or fighter? If so, talk a little about it here. Be sure to include an explanation or origin story for anything unusual, extraordinary, or supernatural. >Damkki is a tactician, and fast moving in forest/jungle areas. He takes this to his advantage as if an army of troops or robots were to attack he would be able to take out a handful if not be able to hold them off for a bit. With his speed in jungle or forest areas hes able to outrun many enemies that are based around running in open areas making it easy for him to mobilize around Adabat. A big flaw is that alone he is unable to fend for himself much and has only two options when in danger and in a area hes not fammiliar with. Run or use the enviorment to his advantage. Although in Plains hes totally useless and has no chance of survival if faced against an enemy. Does your character have any purpose? (It's okay if you don't have this fully figured out yet, but all the better if your character does have an agenda or some sort of driving force to it to make it interact with other characters.) > Every 5 years Damkki takes a trip out of Adabat for a month to update his self on the rest of the world, as Adabat is isolated from the rest. He finds his purpose in the world to protect Adabat from outside influences or dangers. If Adabat is messed with then he WILL fight. Does your character have an image? You can post it here, if so (as long as you follow the rules mentioned in the character guidelines). If not, please write a description of your character's appearance. >Damkki's eyes are covered by his fur and is hairier than normal sloths. He has 2 bracelets on his arms and longer legs than many other sloths. Hes about 3 feet tall and 8/10 feet wide wide. On his chest there is a naturally shaved crescent moon symbol. He has black warpaint leading to where his eyes would be seen and leading to the tip of his forehead. Hes very hairy all over (execpt for his symbol) and has claws long and sharp enough to cut through a branch within the first 3 tries. Will you be around to play your character regularly? (i.e. Keeping daily tabs on any threads you involve yourself in, and posting whenever it's your turn?) >I can check about 7 times a day and if replied fast enough i can keep it going but if it takes hours im limited to 7. Do you live in or near the Americas, or elsewhere? (It may be difficult for you to participate in any of the fast-moving sessions if you're only online when the rest of the group is asleep, so we ask this just to be aware of any potential problems.) >I live in USA est. Are you okay with having your character information and image on this website (such as on the wiki)? >Yes What is your name? (Don't post your last name! This forum isn't private!) >Dante |
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| Author: | Admin [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Damkki the Sloth |
1. This has serious problems with run-on sentences, sentence fragments, spelling, misuse of words, etc. To be a character profile, which generally undergoes greater scrutiny than the average RP post, this is pretty raw. You need to check your grammar and spelling if you want to get this approved. 2. "Hes about 3 feet tall and 8/10 feet wide wide." I know the extra "wide" was just an error, but I'm not sure what "8/10 feet" means. Are you saying he is eight tenths of a foot wide? Why not use inches in that case? Or are you saying that he is eight-to-ten feet wide? In that case, how does that even work? 3. "I can check about 7 times a day and if replied fast enough i can keep it going but if it takes hours im limited to 7." I'm not really sure what you're saying in this sentence, but it sounds like you're implying that you're only able to browse the internet seven times a day, or...? I have no idea, really. I don't know how this is going to work. The character doesn't have any giant, glaring problems other than being poorly written. We'll accept you with Beginner Member status to see what you're actually capable of in RP, but until then, that's all we'll do with this. For more information on what "Beginner Member" status entails, read the box below (copied from the how-to-join thread). |
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| Author: | Maleel [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Damkki the Sloth |
*edited* Age>46 Give us a couple paragraphs of general info about your character. For example, what's the character's personality like? What kind of things does he or she do? Why does he or she do it? (Please don't give us your character's point-by-point life history, though.) >Damkki is lazy (As a sloth is thought to be) and never up to do anything that is physically demanding, though when his people are threatened in some way he will spring into action. He protects the jungles of Adabat from any type of threat, he does this because its one of the very few places on earth that has a tropical climate and is also his birthplace which he feels the need to protect from evil. Damkki believes he has to lead his people (The inhabitants of Adabats jungles and ruins) and protect them from the outside world or he thinks they may turn evil so he keeps them from knowing too much about it. Hes afraid they might be hurt, "tainted" by the evils, or worse killed by many of the creatures outside of the island. Though he knows that he cant keep his people away from the outside forever and fears of the day that they may have to leave the island in search for other sources of food,water, and shelter. Though this may be the fire in his heart its also one of his flaws. Hes too overprotective and because of that the people of Adabat will not fully grow being hidden from the rest of the world. An example of such is when Eggmans forces (and Dark Gaia) were in Adabat the people of it were unable to put up a decent fight and were pushed down underground as their "Paradise" was invaded and ravaged all the buildings (Huts treehouses etc) torn down into what Sonic saw once arriving into the jungles. Does your character have any skills or special abilities, a gimmick, or anything that makes it stand out as an athlete or fighter? If so, talk a little about it here. Be sure to include an explanation or origin story for anything unusual, extraordinary, or supernatural. >Damkki is a tactician, and fast moving in forest/jungle areas. He takes this to his advantage as if an army of troops or robots were to attack he would be able to take out a handful if not be able to hold them off for a bit. With his speed in jungle or forest areas hes able to outrun many enemies that are based around running in open areas making it easy for him to mobilize around Adabat. A big flaw is that alone he is unable to fend for himself much and has only two options when in danger and in a area hes not familiar with. Run or use the enviroment to his advantage. Although in Plains hes totally useless and has no chance of survival if faced against an enemy. Does your character have any purpose? (It's okay if you don't have this fully figured out yet, but all the better if your character does have an agenda or some sort of driving force to it to make it interact with other characters.) > Every 5 years Damkki takes a trip out of Adabat for a month to update his self on the rest of the world, as Adabat is isolated from the rest. He finds his purpose in the world to protect Adabat from outside influences or dangers. If Adabat is messed with then he WILL fight. Does your character have an image? You can post it here, if so (as long as you follow the rules mentioned in the character guidelines). If not, please write a description of your character's appearance. >Damkki's eyes are covered by his fur and is hairier than normal sloths. He has 2 bracelets on his arms and longer legs than many other sloths. Hes about 3 feet tall and 9 inches wide. On his chest there is a naturally shaved crescent moon symbol. He has black warpaint leading to where his eyes would be seen and leading to the tip of his forehead. Hes very hairy all over (execpt for his symbol) and has claws long and sharp enough to cut through a branch within the first 3 tries. Will you be around to play your character regularly? (i.e. Keeping daily tabs on any threads you involve yourself in, and posting whenever it's your turn?) >I can check the posts 7-10 times to day and if replied fast i can reply back more than 7. Do you live in or near the Americas, or elsewhere? (It may be difficult for you to participate in any of the fast-moving sessions if you're only online when the rest of the group is asleep, so we ask this just to be aware of any potential problems.) >I live in USA est. Are you okay with having your character information and image on this website (such as on the wiki)? >Yes What is your name? (Don't post your last name! This forum isn't private!) >Dante |
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| Author: | Admin [ Mon Apr 16, 2012 9:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Damkki the Sloth |
You didn't correct your grammar. Why did you so hastily resubmit? Timeframe is a good indication of effort. All your speed in resubmitting shows is that you do not see the problem and that you are not taking the time necessary to find the problem. If you need an example of something that's wrong, then sure, here's one—but don't think that rewriting this one paragraph will mean anything. There is far more than this wrong with the profile. Quote: An example of such is when Eggmans forces (and Dark Gaia) were in Adabat the people of it were unable to put up a decent fight and were pushed down underground as their "Paradise" was invaded and ravaged all the buildings (Huts treehouses etc) torn down into what Sonic saw once arriving into the jungles. Try reading the above aloud. It rambles and does not make any sense grammatically. Locking this thread. You're welcome to try participating as a Beginner Member to show that you're a capable RPer, but please do not submit any more character apps. |
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