With messy hair pointing every which direction, black trunks crooked, and a white towel hanging around his shoulders, Rock trudged into his arena accommodations only a little tired, but a lot satisfied. The first place he went was the mini-fridge.

Jam trailed behind the war-weary boxer in surprisingly engaged conversation with his aged but animated trainer. Despite a mutually mild enmity held prior, the two seemed, at least for the moment, united in their reprehension for prize fighting politics.

"And that ain' even the woist of it!" roared the rooster with not shortage of gristle, as he spread his arms emphatically, and Jam beyond the threshold of his protege's shared living space after Jam. "'E even gets on dat TV box, and 'e gets them whachamacallem, them repoiters, an' he says, 'I'll fight dat chump anytime, anywhe'e, but 'e's obviously too much of a coward t'face me in da ring foi a rematch, proper.'"

"No s***tin'," was all his pink audience could find words for, shaking her head, and clucking her tongue in disapproval.

Mack dismissed the claim with a wave of his feathered palm.

"Aah, he was doity, alright, but this Vince bum's people is reachin' in a whole new bag a's**t."

His head oscillating back and forth in disgust, he raised his tired old face toward Rock, and grinned in a defiantly proud sort of way, as he added in a croak, "It don' mattah," as he shuffled to the TV set and jabbed at the power button.

"Dey can fight as doity as dey want; we sure showed 'em tonight, kid."

"Do it again if I see'im in a parking lot somewhere," Rock quipped as he reached for a bottle in the fridge, but paused. He ultimately came out with some sort of seltzer water crap that he didn't really care for, but knew it was the only thing Mack wouldn't fuss at him for drinking.

As he wandered back over toward the big, flat-panel television, popping the metal cap of his drink with a satisfying hiss, he found that the old rooster had tuned it to a tiresomely relevant program: boxing. A couple sports newscasters were running highlights of the night's events.

He leaned over the back of the couch for a second, reluctant to bother watching at first, but eventually came around and sat down.


"... bringing you the results of the second night of round one of the championship. We had a lot of interesting people you wouldn't expect to see in a boxing tournament, including some celebrity figures. Among them was Jack Clark, the sheriff of Yellow Desert over on South Island. She's received both a lot of mixed criticism and praise for her actions during and after the Yellow Desert incident. She seems determined to win that prize, though, in the name of public safety.

"TV newscaster Mary Monroe put down the microphone and got into the ring this evening, as well, besting one 'Randall the Raptor.' The fight was almost called off prematurely when Mr. Raptor displayed apprehension about removing his jetpack.

"It gets wackier than sheriffs, TV reporters, and dinosaurs in jetpacks, though. A self-proclaimed unicorn, Rodolf Viktor, was also a 'victor' this evening. Whether or not he's the real deal, that horn on his head is no lie, and officials insisted on wrapping it with a foam cushion before they would allow the match to begin. Hopefully, his first round knockout of his opponent, 'Joke' Jameson, will pad his ego. Ah hah.

"Even royalty showed up for the competition when Prince Jabari of Pride Island dispatched local boxer Sugar the Ray in the first round. Other winners this evening include South Island 'superhero,' Hoji 'Wild Badge' Oshiro, Daniel 'Ace' Crawford, and Buddy Mercury.

"Buddy's victory might have been the most outstanding of all—which is to say, it just stood out a lot, but not for any normal reasons. The match looked to be all but dominated by opponent Preston 'Juke' Gaye, who knocked Mercury down three times in the first round alone. However, shortly before the bell, an amazing slip dealt Gaye the knockout blow, making it the first recorded match in which a contender scored a knockout without landing a single punch.

"Let's watch."

A horrific, embarrassing video showed Juke charging at Buddy from across the ring, slipping on Buddy's lost mouthguard, and skull-driving himself headfirst into the corner turnbuckle.

The video rewound and played it again in slow motion.

And it played again, extra-zoomed in, in extra-slow motion. (You could see Juke's face slowly wrapping around the padded post, while his legs kicked up behind him and over the back of his head, and his neck bent back at a nearly 90 degree angle.

"The night wasn't without its scandal, though. Former South Island Air Force astronaut, Lt. Lazarus 'Rock' Lochert, who was scheduled to fight Lummox Leonard, found himself instead facing 'Burnin'' Joe Blazer, current number-one-ranked WIBA contender. Blazer, who had been ousted from qualifiers by Lochert in a tremendous upset, was apparently accepted into the tournament anyway to fill Leonard's spot when the fighter failed to show for pre-fight staging.

"Convenient coincidence? It sounds like it, but the second chance wasn't of any use to Blazer, who, in another shocking upset, was knocked out cold on his feet late in the second round. Lochert moves on to the next stage of the tournament, and if he's lucky, he won't have to fight Blazer a third time!

"And, finally, the night ended on a grim note shortly after martial arts champion Sakan Montri was knocked down for the sixth time in two rounds against Bo 'Flex' Bopper. Bopper was nearly disqualified after refusing to get off of Montri, whom he pinned in a corner and beat mercilessly for nearly twenty seconds straight. The attack only ended when the turnbuckle itself broke, allowing Montri to fall out of the ring. Montri is in critical condition and..."

"He would have to be my next match," Rock mumbled, clutching his bottle and somehow frowning with his whole face. He took another swig and sighed, brows high, but eyes half shut.


searchindextag
chapter2search