
You: PARKER, GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: asl
You: 45 MALE, MY OFFICE, PISSED OFF
Stranger: take it easy batman
You: BATMAN?
You: WHO THE HELL IS BATMAN, PARKER?
You: I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHENANIGANS
You: I NEED PICTURES
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN
Stranger: got to spiderman.batman.com
Stranger: do you like x man
You: I DON'T PAY YOU TO GIVE ME LINKS TO THE INTERNET, PARKER
You: I NEED FRESH MATERIAL
You: A SCOOP
You: INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE OF THAT MISCREANT
You: WEBSITES DON'T SELL PAPERS, PARKER
Stranger: im only 12 can you tell me how to masterbate
You: DAMNIT PARKER
---
Stranger: 17 f us. If you're a creep, Im not interested. I'm not horny so if thats all you want, disconnect now and save us both some time.
You: YOU KNOW WHAT GETS ME HORNY?
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN!
---
---
Stranger: Out of these 3 movies which do you like best: House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects or A Clockwork Orange?
You: GOD DAMNIT, PARKER.
You: I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
Stranger: PARKER'S DEAD
You: GET ME PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN, OR DON'T TURN UP AT ALL.
You: ... WHAT?
You: MAURICE?! GET PARKER ON THE PHONE
You: THIS CHUMP CLAIMS HE'S DEAD.
Stranger: Yeah, I ran over him =D
You: WHAT DO YOU WANT? MONEY?
You: I CAN GIVE YOU HIS JOB.
Stranger: SURE
You: GIVE ME PICTURES.
You: PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN.
Stranger: Go to Google and there will be pictures
You: GOD *DAMNIT* NEWPARKER.
---
---
You: PARKER, GET IN MY OFFICE
Stranger: I'm Kumiko
You: I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE I'M CALLING YOU PARKER
You: NOW WHERE ARE MY PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN
You: I NEED THEM FOR TOMORROW'S PAPER
Stranger: I set on fire
Stranger: with Parker
You: DAMNIT PARKER
Stranger: and killed parker to
You: I BET SPIDER-MAN PUT YOU UP TO THIS EH
You: KILLED PARKER? HUH. SONOFABITCH HAD IT COMING.
Stranger: there is no spiter-man anymore
You: WHAT
You: FANTASTIC
You: YOU'RE GETTING A RAISE, ASIAN-PARKER
Stranger: yes! I need it
You: WELL GO GET ME SOME PICTURES
You: PICTURES OF
You: ...
You: Just
Stranger: lol
You: Just get me some old pictures of spider-man...
Stranger: ok
Stranger: make them look new?
You: Yes, please...
You: Now... just get out of my office, asianparker...
You: I need a minute...
