Ass you may or may not know, I have been getting into something called Lucid Dreaming as of late, where I become aware of my state of dreaming, and assume absolute control over all that I see. While this is considerably more difficult than I had originally believed, the steps taken (dream journal) have indeed led to better dream recollection, so I haven't stopped yet... anyway!

While this is going on, I might as well get some use of it! So here you are! Excerpts from my very own dream journal. I'll start with the first, and work my way up. (Note that this is one of the very few that I was too lazy to log properly, and instead just told Matt about in on AIM. We'll get better later on.)

June 9, 2010

Soul Hander (10:21:21 AM): So I started a dream journal.
Soul Hander (10:22:30 AM): "At home, greeted by three friendly dogs including my own. Try petting them all at once, find great difficulty in doing so."
Soul Hander (10:23:06 AM): "Later, on the way back home, walk through healthy green sidewalk, meet friendly dogs through fences, and pick up grenade launcher off the street."
Soul Hander (10:23:59 AM): "It's unloaded, but has 21 shells left. Use it as a walking stick, soon became aware that it might explode and walk more carefully."
Soul Hander (10:25:39 AM): "Later, on the way back home, being driven by Matt's dad."
Soul Hander (10:26:23 AM): "He is perpetually angry at the road a drives like a madman, running a red light."
Soul Hander (10:26:36 AM): "I am afraid, but not terrified."
Brainwrack (10:27:22 AM): That is excellent.
Soul Hander (10:27:30 AM): "Unsure, but may have attended snowy haunted house in between coming back home all those times."
Soul Hander (10:27:59 AM): "Earlier, counted hands several times during a Brawl match with a Charizard-- six fingers."
Soul Hander (10:28:10 AM): "The realization I was dreaming woke me up. Shitsucks."
Soul Hander (10:28:27 AM): Maybe tomorrow.
Brainwrack (10:28:56 AM): I read your dream to Ben and Rachel.
Brainwrack (10:28:58 AM): There was laughter.
Soul Hander (10:29:11 AM): Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Oh, yeah! I forgot about this thing. Note that the logs may get larger as the dream recollection gets better.


June 12, 2010

I walk nervously to a college campus classroom filled with computers.There are no assignments to be done, however, and I busy myself with childish time passers similar to Kid Pix and possibly Math Munchers. I'm not sure why, but I am reminded of Spongebob when I try to think harder on the event. Specifically, Mr. Krabbs.

Eventually, the professor (who resembles the evil Super Woman) gets terribly angry with me, (I think there is a blackout, and I keep typing swear words) and escorts me out of the room, and I cannot remember why. I think I bite her finger in rage, and I believe she bites mine in retaltiation, but she soon reminds me that she knows me personally, and is really a good friend trying to do right by me.

She leads me to an bright orange area outside the class (surrounded and filled with water, small waterfalls, like an immaculately clean sewer) that seems like a mix between a labyrinth and a temple built with dull orange stones. She gives me a lecture that I can't remember, and sends me off to find several colored, gaseous orbs that bear some significance.

The orbs are stored in giant, ancient looking pairs of rings, and the orbs hold them together like the center of an hourglass. I am stockpiling the ones I find in a corner next to a sewer-like stream of water to find where they go properly later.

Later, I go deep into a sewer area accompanied by the ninja turtles, and the orange becomes a rusted brown. I attempt to solve a puzzle involving the red, orange, and I believe the purple orb as well, but there is also an abundance of fake, yellow orbs that transform into a series of bananas. A monkey that I've apparently picked up on my journey keep stealing them, and I send Raphael to chase him down and rip off his head. I cannot remember anything beyond this point.

At least you selected the correct turtle for head-ripping-off tasks.

Hooo, this is a biggun. But I only wrote down every little detail because I remember it being amazing!


June 14, 2010

I cannot remember precisely where this dream begins, but eventually, I find myself in a cozy little wooden cottage (that kind of resembled my grandparent's place) in the snowy mountains, sitting at a dinner table alongside Samurai Jack himself (although for some queer reason, his robe is a crushed red rather than his traditional white.)

When asked, he attempts to hide his identity (rather poorly), but I immediately call him out on it with my best Aku impersonation (actually pretty good) and delivering an awesomeface doing so. Apparently we've met before and are good friends, as he admits embarrassment.

SUDDENLY we are attacked by various forms of toolbox tools flying out of a cauldron that was supposed to have produced our dinner. Jack doesn't have his sword for some reason, so he uses chopsticks with small barbells on them to fight them off instead. I don't know why.

Hnngggg this part is hard to remember but I remember it being awesome so I'll try.

After we fight off the oil-covered tools, I bid Jack farewell and hop on a bus accompanied by a number of family(?) members that I don't really know all that well. We own the bus, and it's huge and techno-advanced, and customized red and white inside and out. I want to sit in the back, because that's where the pilot's seat (yes, pilot's seat) is, but I soon know this to be a mistake when I realize that it has no windows in front of it for some reason, even though it's the pilot's seat. Just a wall.

While climbing in I made some sort of extremely obscure Batman reference (that I didn't even know) that some terribly obese girl in the front/back finished out loud for me, and then apologized for it. She must be very shy.

DREAM TRANSITION?

Later, I find myself in a prison cell as a sort of video game made version of Ace, surrounded by many other video game characters chained to the wall. The prison head brings somebody I've never seen before, his own creation (kinda looks like Gill) to fight against whoever wants to fight against him. Some fellows try and fail, and I myself fall under his might after selecting my character several times. Eventually, I choose my Ace guy and then refuse to fight him. Prison head guy laughs, and passes through. I almost tell the guy next to me that he didn't fight Gen, but Gen walks up to me and strokes his beard with a disproving look in mid-sentence, and I change what I say.

Suddenly, there is a prison riot! But before I can participate, I must first choose my character class a la City of Villains. I'm delighted to find that there are two new classes available: “Uninjured Professional” and “Injured Professional”. I take injured, because uninjured game be unrealistic healing powers, and then make Ace, and fight my way through dozens of video game characters in sepia tinted bullet time.

...I think somewhere along the way I turned into Samurai Jack, because I eventually found myself in first person view doing crazy acrobatic tricks with a samurai sword in my hands. And somehow I knew it wasn't just a katana, it was a samurai sword. So I fight my way out the front door (and look totally awesome doing so) to find a choice number of characters casually camping outside the door. Apparently, this was just a test for the police head (who rips off his mask to reveal it's that guy with the glasses from Nintendo in a mecha suit [and starts laughing maniacally]) to see who can participate in a fighting tournament, with his own creation as the final boss.

I suddenly see Nintendo guy's face as a picture on 4chan, and somebody comments “Ha, these foolish fast and strong warriors. Little do they know they have to be fast and strong to survive my tournament!” And then they edit a bunch of porno mags in place of regular magazines next to him. I think it's so hilarious that I wake up.

August 30, 2010

After long dream drought, suddenly have lucid dream. Attending some kind of high school with a friendly blue and white motif. Can't remember what happened inside. When high school ends, leap off of second floor and start flying out. See a sign on one wall that says “Needs moar furries”, because this is a superhero school and those are often plentiful, i.e. Tigra, Nightcrawler(?). Lucidity begins here.

I realize I'm dreaming, and even though I expect the shock to wake me up, I don't. I begin flying across the city, over rooftops and streets. I realize I'm carrying some clothes on me, and drop them in hopes of going faster. It doesn't work well, and I shout to myself, “Break the sound barrier!” It doesn't work. I believe the loss of morale afterward actually made me go slower.

I end up taking a break in a small park, where my mother has crash-parked her new car. She tells me that I'm dreaming, and I shouldn't go around looking for trouble just because I have phenomenal cosmic powers. So of course I go looking for trouble, but I'm awoken by the sudden need to pee. Damn it.

September 05, 2010

I think I'm playing some not-real-but-early-stage of Final Fantasy VII. I'm Cloud. My party is nothing but Cloud, and with no one to talk to, it's frustrating and boring and lonely, and a little scary. I'm on some super-futuristic and massive train platform, more like FFVIII, and I think I'm searching for Knuckles, actually. I come across a few empty treasure chests over a series of similar locations, but no progress is made.

I eventually transition away from it, and realize I'm just playing a video game. It's night, dark out almost to the point of total greyscale, and somehow I know my brother is sleeping in the TV room. Mom tells me to let Sweetpea out to pee while she goes to bed, and I do that. And then go back to making no progress in the video game.

I transition away again to the same situation. Mom is going to bed again, it's still pitch black, etc. She asks me if the door didn't open the first time, but I know it did. As soon as I open it, I see a shuffling movement near the back not unlike a Boomer, and it's #&*$ing terrifying. I slam the sliding door shut and lock it like a mother%*#$er, and the figure reveals itself to actually be a riot police zombie, but instead of a blank, mirror-like face, the faceplate is just transparent enough to see a skull as it pounds against the door-- again, all in super-dark grayscale. In the background I hear my brother scold me for making so much noise, but it's secondary. I'm totally petrified, screaming the same frustratingly unenthusiastic scream over and over and over again.

Suddenly, I have this awesome realization that I'm just in a dream. I curl up into a ball and say “This is just a dream” to myself over and over, about ten or twenty times (with a few variations, they didn't seem to work any better). At some points I get too confident and start to drift back to the zombie, but stop immediately after the image comes back, and the fear with it. Eventually I'm looking into the backs of my eyelids, and I can't move my body at all, except for the breathing in my chest. Sleep-paralyzed, but that's fine. I recognize it as a part of dreaming, and %$*#, it's better than the nightmare.

I do a series of reality checks, and though I should be satisfied I'm threatless, come to log my dream with a big-ass iron pipe in my hands.

September 10, 2010

Can't recall much of anything. May have started to have a nightmare, but opted to awaken myself rather than becoming lucid. Shucks. Also awoken at 6:30 by Sweetpea's barking. Doubleshucks.


September 14, 2010

First dream is very vague. All I know is that it includes me, as a rap artist, searching different video game worlds for inspiration for my music.

Second dream starts off as a class of some sort. Some kind of graduation occurs. The scenery shits from classroom to living room as different video games are shown, eventually transforms into arcade (during this, I confuse Mortal Kombat for Twisted Metal several times in front of my friends, very embarrassing). I see a Continue screen left alone on a shooter that resembled Area 51, and go put in a quarter when I realize there's a quarter hidden/stuck in an outer piece of the machine that the last participant likely forgot about. I pluck it out and put it in, thinking it somehow seems a little big. The machine doesn't accept it, and almost immediately starts smoking instead. I rush for assistance, and a manager(?) takes it out with ease and hands it back to me. Later events are hazy in terms of order of occurrence.

Young child accidentally drops/flings penny across the room, I go fetch it for him and bring it back (twice). His mother thanks me very much. Just before I give it to him, I realize it's an incredibly rare penny made in 1020 (before America was even discovered, wtf) and give him a newer penny instead. His mother seems happy for me rather than upset.

Soon, one of the workers there bumps into me, talking creepy and making vague, government related threats. Fortunately, I suddenly recognize myself as Ace, so I feel a lot less worried (with my powers and all), and a lot more in control. Perhaps this prevented it from becoming a nightmare. When I noticed a different one of the employees (chubby but built, dark fuzzy beard and suit) hitting a small child (after he'd made several threats to me) I march up to him and slam him against the wall before striking him several times myself. The only bad part about it was that I don't feel like the blows are as forceful as they should be. I wake up.

Greens stopped this long ago, but I just had a doozy of a dream, and I have to do something with it.



It begins with me driving up in a very old, very rusty all-terrain vehicle to an old house in a snowy neighborhood. I get out, walk up the stairs to the porch, unlock the door, and find it... full of monsters.

They're very generic monsters, the size of very large dogs, pink in color, with giant teeth (vaguely Ultimate Chimera-like), and some sort of Sheff-like crystal armor stuff going on—more of them than I can count. I walk into the midst of them searching for something. Some decide that they want a piece of me; I proceed to beat up stone-armored monsters with my bare fists for the duration of my stay in the house, until I decide I can't find what I was looking for, and, tired of beating them up, I leave.

As I start to drive away, I realize I forgot to lock the door of the house. I get out of my vehicle, but accidentally leave it in neutral. The little jeep-like thing goes rolling away down the hill at a ridiculous speed through the streets. I chase it on foot, but it eventually gets away from me.

When I catch up to it, I find that my former supervisor from Best Buy has caught it for me. I later accompany said supervisor to the top of a wildly swaying skyscraper, where he proceeds to do chin-ups off of one of the safety railings as the building dips nearly sideways at 45+ degree angles. I am deeply concerned for his safety, but I join him for some reason.

At some point, I move on and went to meet Mie at Disney World, where I had a game of Jeopardy to compete in. We have something to eat together, then we go to the auditorium where they're hosting the game. I get behind the podium... then I realize it's going to be a while before the game starts, and, again, I have forgotten something. So, I go jogging off across the park.

I end up on the streets. For some reason, Disney World is in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Being on the roads is no problem, though; Dream Me can run as fast as most cars. I obey traffic signals as if I am a car, as well.

I get horribly lost in the abandoned factory ghettos somewhere outside Downtown Disney. (Because, you know, Disney World is just surrounded by abandoned factories. Yes.) Eventually, I give up and start working my way back. Along the way, I encounter Steven Tyler of Aerosmith! He's a friend of mine, apparently. We talk some, then we realize we're both horribly late for Jeopardy. (He's going to perform along with the rest of Aerosmith during the break.) We set out for the show, both of us lost and confused by Downtown Disney Gatlinburg. Along the way, we have assorted misadventures and banter that I can't really remember. We both end up terribly late for the show, but it's okay because I was hanging out with Steven Tyler, and it's not like they were going to start without him, anyway.

The End.

July 23rd, 2011

Was at some kind of tech demo/theme park with the whole RP gang. We go to a comedy show hosted by Jack Nicholson but it's like five minutes long and Jack is very anti-social after the show. We go to something else later, I think it's a tech demo for google maps or something, I dunno. Somehow involved a large ring of rapidly rotating smoke and mirrors, and people in black robes and goblin masks scaring the people standing outside of it from within.

Anyway, dream transition to a supermarket with my mom. We're about to go checking out when I see myself on the TV near the check out. Apparently it was an older show, because I'm acting very weird and play with my dog and jumping up and down in grass. It was a biography kind of show, but the person 'interviewing' me disappears rather quickly. Suddenly I am younger me, and I'm walking home from the tech demo/theme park with my mom. Suddenly I am opened fire upon by a turret at the top of my house. It hurts (and fills my screen with red pulses), but I hide behind a conveniently placed lamp post for a short spell and then dash away, using the tall trees surrounding as cover. When I ask who was shooting at me, she says “Oh, it's just Nick. Don't you remember?”

I have no idea who Nick is, but my mind fills in the blank for me automatically. Nick is my dad's Italian cousin with connections to the mob, and he's been trying to take me away (like Aeris and the Turks) since I was a little boy. Suddenly, I'm not a little boy anymore.

My mom gets the idea to sneak up on the roof, and spots a sentry wielding an AK. “Can't go there,” she says. “He has an ARK.” I want to correct her, but figure it's pointless. She picks up another 'ARK' and hands it to me, telling me to wait while she goes and does something. I never get to figure out what that something is though, as two other men on the roof approach behind us. “Do you have a permit for that gun?” one of them asks her. At first I'm sure this is the end, but she stammers out, “I, aaah, rely on the association of my son using it.” It made sense in the dream.

It almost seems like they're with us until one of them ask us to follow them below so they can “Get this over with” (the line that made me realize what I needed to do). Oddly, they don't confiscate my gun. Anyway, we drop to the room below the roof, where me and my mom meet with two ugly men (and a third one that climbs up the stairs, black, and also ugly. All resemble the pirate skins in Uncharted 3 beta.). I can't remember what was said, but it ended with the white guy spraying his gun around and it shooting out white gas. I immediately recognize this as sleeping gas and carefully put two bullets each in the heads of the guards as quickly as I can before we all pass out. Oddly, I only put one in the black guy at first, and while the other guys were falling down, he stood there hopping in place with a stern yet blank look on his face. With frustration at a moving target, I barely manage a second one in his forehead and faint.

I wake up in what I know is my house, but it's all brown and huge and wooden and tavern-y. I still have my gun, but can't find my mom anywhere.

(I want to note, I have a HUD for my gun, and the entire gun is hollow except for the 24 bullets filling it. I figured it was a replica gun from China or something. Very cheaply made, but only one 'mag' per gun. Ever.)

Through a long series of gunfire and Max Payne-ish bravery that I can't remember well and would take far too long to describe (suffice to say it was pretty boss), I manage to rescue my mom (and Sully, and a few others I don't remember [?]) and escape out the back, with the entire house on fire. It was day when I went in-- now it's night. While running, I see Wesker in his STARS uniform in the back parking lot lit by a street light, searching for us with his gun ready, and use a cardboard magnum I'd collected on him to stuff him down with no fuss. Every else starts to run off without me, but I take the time to trade my cardboard magnum for his Samurai Edge. To my right, I also see the Scout, crawling on the ground with an angry face and trying to push himself up. I don't want any last minute backstabbing, so I clobber him in the hip twice with my baseball bat. Once I'm sure he's dead and all threats are gone, I catch up with the others.

Even though it seems safe, we're still running through the highway, which is becoming more and more foresty as it goes on. It's a single road surrounded by trees, we can't even see the sky, although we know it's night. Eventually, a reach a curtain of foliage that is pulled away to reveal a great collection of hilltops, each peaked by what look like anthropomorphic, smiling little avocados. The king of them was right in front of us, and he began launching homing avocado bombs/assassins at us. They were all roughly the size of my head. In a panic, I run back, swatting frantically as as many assassinbombs as I could with my bat. A few satisfying blows were landed, but they were all very slippery. If they floated to you and touched you, they would attach themselves like velcro and explode soon after. Several of my friends are hit. Suddenly, they all changed to different colors, like the letters on Google, but with no change after that.

And even more suddenly, our battle is swapped away like a page in a book (very hard to explain) to reveal... a giant tablet of sorts, with an advertisement for Google maps displayed, and one of the assassinbombs (with its cartoony eyes and face) as its mascot. A photo of me swinging my bat in a craze is in the corner, and the phrase “Still struggling with tablets?” is written above.

'Oooohhh', I think. 'So it was all an ad campaign... dream. That's clever. That's really clever.''

But then I wake up with the need to evacuate my bladder.